


like shoelaces that come undone

by prismaxle



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Vaguely Aged Up to College Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-13 02:10:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18022835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prismaxle/pseuds/prismaxle
Summary: yukilisa week day 6 - distance/gratitude"Perhaps if Lisa was better with her words, she could find a way to cross the sea of emotions between them, but it is all they can do to exist in this one small moment before they let go again."(Or: Lisa goes abroad for school and neither her nor Yukina quite know how to handle it)





	like shoelaces that come undone

“Somehow, there’s a sense of finality about these lyrics,” Lisa says. “You know I’m coming back, right?”

“I know that,” Yukina huffs, “that’s why it’s not a goodbye song.” Her hand glides along the page titled 軌跡, _Kiseki_ , _“Our Path_ ”, and points at some of the lyrics. “Look, see? It even says we’ll meet again.”

Despite their lighthearted words, the air between them is heavy, thick with all the things they’re not saying. Perhaps if Yukina was better with her words, she could grasp some of these floating doubts and worries, confront them, and move past them. But she is paralyzed in this moment that is slipping through her fingertips far too quickly, and her throat is too dry and her eyes too wet.

Lisa waves her phone as if to cut through the atmosphere. “Texting’s no good, but we still have online chat and video calls. It’ll be like I never left, honestly! Just mind the time zone difference, aha.” A pause. “You’re...not exactly the most active texter, but try for me, won’t you?”

“Of course.”

Another pause, longer this time. “Yukina...I’ll always be your best friend no matter what happens, you know that?”

“It goes both ways.”

“So come on, no need to look so sad. It’s...We just gotta tough it out through this first year, you know? After that it’ll be a lot easier for me to get time off to come back for holidays, maybe even do a few live shows.”

That’s not really the issue, and Lisa knows it, and Yukina knows she knows it. She also knows that Lisa would stay if she asked her to, if she reached out and grabbed hold and asked her to never leave her side. But Yukina _also_ knows that Lisa is passionate about baking, and it makes her happy, and this school in Germany is a fantastic once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her, and Yukina has stolen away enough of her future already. With deep and shaky breaths, the silver-haired girl slowly uncurls her fists and brings them up to wave goodbye. Lisa ruffles her hair and turns towards the door.

That night, Yukina tosses and turns but fails to fall asleep. Every time, her gaze falls to her window and through to the one across, as if expecting to see the light there come on. She has always been able to sleep soundly, secure in the knowledge that her best friend was but a stone’s throw away. On nights she couldn’t, Yukina has always been able to jump across the divide and talk to her. She cannot recall ever going more than two or three days without that comfort. Now she would have to go nearly a whole year apart from Lisa. She doesn't even dare think about what lies beyond.

It's difficult enough, thinking about tomorrow.

* * *

 

Lisa has been in Germany for about a week, the first time she spots a cat out on the streets. On instinct, she immediately pulls out her phone and snaps a picture for the biggest cat lover she knows.

It seems European cats are also quite cute.  
  
However, they still are no match for Japanese cats!  
  


Yukina follows up by sending her own picture of a cat. After a very serious and heated debate, Lisa lets herself be convinced that Japanese cats are indeed superior, Yukina triumphantly declaring she knew Lisa would see the light.

(Lisa wonders how long the other girl has been holding onto this cat picture and waiting for Lisa to send her own, because the one Yukina sent is dyed in an orange sunset glow and Lisa knows it is already nighttime in Japan.)

* * *

 

No matter how far away she is, Lisa is still a member of Roselia, and she takes that seriously. She knows she needs to practice the bass, needs to keep improving. But staring at her carmine red bass gleaming on its stand brings a sense of loneliness, and she always finds herself having to drag her feet over to her instrument. She tells herself it is no different from solo practice in her room back home, but it just doesn’t work, she can’t get into the right headspace.

Barely an hour after Lisa mentions this to Yukina, the vocalist sends her a clip of her singing. _"My voice is always yours to borrow"_ , is the accompanying message.

The digital playback cannot possibly compare to hearing Yukina’s voice live, but Lisa makes do. At the very least, Lisa is satisfied enough with her own playing to record it and send it back to Yukina.

* * *

 

How do European mailing addresses work? I hear they are quite different from Japanese ones.  
  
Can you send me yours as an example? It's for school.  
  


Lisa sees through the laughably flimsy lie, but she plays along, expecting some silly letter to show up in the mail. What she doesn’t notice is that her birthday is only about a week away, and when she arrives at her front door at 6pm on August 25th, she is genuinely surprised to find a package marked with a blue rose waiting for her. She opens it to find a set of guitar picks, a high-level practice book for the bass guitar (with a note from Sayo assuring her it is meant as a show of confidence in her ability, not an insult), a pack of strings in case she needs replacements. There are earrings and hair clips, it's easy to imagine Rinko picking them out for her. There are elements that must’ve come from their other friends too: buns from Yamabuki bakery, special coffee blends from Hazawa Cafe, aroma oils handmade by Hina. Lisa’s favourite is probably the felt Yukina doll that must’ve come from Misaki.

Her phone buzzes with an incoming video call, and she is quick to accept it. Her screen changes to Yukina, lying on her bed with slightly messy hair and sleepy eyes (it takes Lisa a moment to swallow the lump that forms in her throat, and another to fumble for the buttons to take a screenshot). “Happy birthday, Lisa!” she drawls out.

“Yukina, it’s like 2 in the morning there. You couldn’t wait until a slightly more reasonable time to call?”

“I...wanted to greet you as soon as you got home from school today.”

Lisa shakes her head. “Unbelievable. I just got your presents, by the way. You really shouldn’t have!”

“Wasn’t just me.” Yukina stifles a yawn. “All of us...Roselia, and the others, too. All your friends wanted to send you their love.”

“Well, that’s very sweet of all of you, and you especially for putting this all together. Tell everyone I say thanks, okay?” Yukina nods. “Now go to sleep!”

“Mm..Have a good rest of your evening, Lisa. Happy birthday again.”

After hanging up the call, Lisa immediately sets about researching the restrictions and logistics on sending cookies overseas. Sending everyone separate packages on each of their birthdays would get rather expensive rather quickly, and that’s money she doesn’t have, so she decides to just send them all together.

She has 2 months to get things sorted out before Yukina’s birthday.  More than enough time.

* * *

 

“You guys held a live show last night, right? How’d it go?” It is Lisa’s lunch break, but her food is sitting almost untouched on the desk next to her laptop.

“Same as always,” Yukina says with a slightly crooked smile, mimicking a certain other vocalist. It makes Lisa’s heart soar with pride in her friend to see the two of them overcoming their initial differences and forming a genuine respect for each other. (She would have to send Moca an apology for leaving her alone to do all the work.)

Lisa nods. “Wouldn’t be Roselia if it’s not a perfect performance, huh?”

“We all performed to the best of our ability, but it is hard to qualify our performance as ‘perfect’ without a bassist.”

“Ah, yeah, I was gonna ask about that.” As soon as a Roselia live was announced while it was known that Lisa was overseas, there had been plenty of speculation online who might be on stage as a substitute for her, or if she might already be coming back. None had predicted they'd perform without a bassist altogether. “You guys didn’t find someone to fill in?”

Yukina’s eyes harden. “Roselia cannot just take anyone on. The work we’d have to put in to bring a new recruit up to an acceptable level is not worth filling a temporary hole. We may have to reduce our activity, but we will make do with the four of us here.”

For all the words Yukina says, _“You’re irreplaceable,”_ is what Lisa hears, and while she chides herself for exaggerating what the vocalist is saying, Lisa feels only slightly guilty for feeling so incredibly happy.

* * *

 

When Lisa makes it back to her house on December 24th, she is a little less surprised to once again find a package waiting for her on the doorstep. She brings it up to her room, and this time she’s the one who starts the video call (it’s only 9PM in Japan this time). Yukina picks up before the third ring, wearing a ridiculous Santa hat, modified with what Lisa vaguely recognizes as fantasy elements. Ako appears beside Yukina on the screen, and the baker quickly suspects she has something to do with the hat. “Lisa-nee! Merry Christmas!”

“Ahaha, hey Ako. You guys having a Christmas party?"

“Something like that,” Yukina says. “Kokoro decided she wanted to have a big fun celebration for Christmas, and you know how she is when she gets an idea in her head.” She stands up. “Would you like to see everyone?” Yukina brings her around to exchange season’s greetings with each and every one of their friends. Again, Lisa beams with pride to see her bandmates actually spending time together with their friends. Sayo is even hanging out with Hina and smiling. The insecure part of Lisa doesn’t even get a chance to whisper in her ear how everyone is having a perfectly good time without her either, as every one of them tells her in their own way how much they miss her.

Eventually, Yukina excuses herself from the group, and brings Lisa with her outside. She only takes a few steps over the thin layer of snow on the ground before finding a place to sit down, but all the joyous laughter already sounds like it is worlds away. “How are you today, Lisa?”

“I’m great! Super. I got your presents, again. Really, you guys are too much! I feel bad, I can’t quite afford to send another big batch of cookies for everyone yet.”

“You’ll just have to make up for it when you come home, I suppose,” Yukina says. “Did you see my present yet, then? It’s the one in the purple box.”

“No, not yet.” Lisa turns and spots it among the hoard of stuff in the package. “You wanna see me open it now?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Here I go, then.” She scoops it up, places it on her lap, and inspects it. She runs her fingers along the string holding it closed. “Is this...”

“Shoelace.”

“Oh my God, you’re so lame.” Lisa shoots a faux angry glare at her phone. “And what, you expect me to just untie this?”

“Yes,” Yukina says. “You’ll just have to make sure to tie it together again after.”

Lisa groans, but she does open it. Inside is a gleaming necklace. 軌跡, _Kiseki_ , _“Our Path_ ”. One kanji is in a deep and full red, the other in a lightly shimmering purple. Her breath catches in her throat. “Yukina, this is...”

On the other side of the screen, Yukina tugs on something from underneath her collar, brings to front a necklace of her own. It is the same design, but with the colouring swapped. “No matter how far apart we go, we are intertwined,” she gently whispers. “We’ll meet again, soon.”

A heavy silence follows. Perhaps if Lisa was better with her words, she could find a way to cross the sea of emotions between them, but it is all they can do to exist in this one small moment before they let go again.

Yukina gently brings a hand up to the screen. “Merry Christmas, Lisa.”

Lisa mirrors the action, and the two of them pretend that they are separated by nothing but a pair of glass balcony doors. “Merry Christmas, Yukina.”

* * *

 

Yukina sits quietly in her room with the lights turned off. She’s just seen Lisa’s parents’ car pull up in their driveway, and now she is waiting. The darkness is tempting her to fall asleep, but Yukina fights to stay awake without turning the lights on. She wants a clear view of the room across from hers, wants to clearly see when _those_ lights come on.

As soon as they do, she jumps to her feet, runs to her balcony. There the two of them come face-to-face, less than a stone’s throw away from each other, like they have a thousand times before. There is a lot to say, far too much for this one moment to hold. It is only a temporary reunion, and in a few weeks’ time they will part ways again. But before a few weeks pass, tomorrow will come first. And before tomorrow comes—

“Yukina, I’m home!”

—this small eternity is theirs to hold.

**Author's Note:**

> "gratitude" is less blatant as a theme than "distance" is here, but they both very much relate to Kiseki which I took quite a lot of inspiration from.
> 
> I always knew it was an emotional song and had seen the meaning of the lyrics before but I only today put together that it's the last song released with Yurishii as Lisa and !! I am not okay


End file.
